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1. |
your exes' records
04:04
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the poetry of buying your exes' records
back from the record store:
you thought that you were pretty good
at giving gifts, but you weren't
because you never really listened.
like opening and finding a bookmark that you'd left in a borrowed book
your 'legacy' but the library will see that gas receipt as a piece of trash.
you chose to sell your first electric guitar
to cover less than half the cost of being towed.
now after a drink or two you search the internet
for a danelectro
you know that what you're trying to buy is really just a feeling
hot summer days, looping delays, pickups held in place with packing tape.
you know that things won't stay the same
collecting these objects anyway.
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2. |
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before they tore up the airport
you told me that you'd fly me out to the coast.
i don't bring it up to make you feel bad,
thinking about it the promise meant more than the trip would.
a reminder for us both:
that i could choose to be far away
that you once knew how to fly a plane.
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3. |
15
01:56
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4. |
lets make a whirlpool
03:19
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a pair of minivans parked in the yard,
dirt tried on balding tires.
a brand of 'fuck the world' gone parental.
crashed out quiet fatigue: rural residential
quiet cul de sac in the midday
a broken basketball hoop (standard issue).
nauseously playing nintendo on a big screen CRT
22 years later motion sickness is still the enemy
never getting the golden gun.
"hey stop looking at my screen"
the grass is dead except for around the above ground pool
throw the floats in and start kicking! let's make a whirlpool.
i was not your friend. it was just a blend of proximity and the cool stuff that you had.
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5. |
la de da
03:49
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every summer night
in this midyear crisis
the viscosity of your own breath
in the hot air on your shoulder.
but what does it mean?
yeah go ahead and try
to describe it with a string of negatives
and we'll catch a look inside your mind.
you were old and tired
when i was just 22
asking me to go look at nativity scenes with you
growing tomatoes
outside my south facing window
and talking to yourself through our shared wall:
"la de da"
were you the one who folded my laundry
the time that i forgot it in the dryer
i wouldn't be surprised
you seem like that kind of guy.
a resourceful scrapper
and a latter day saint;
breaking down appliances
and selling components by weight.
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6. |
end of season
02:53
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7. |
readerboard
03:13
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reading the signs going by on the highway in a singsong voice
because you're tired when it feels like 100 miles to go to home
to a bed that is your own
to a place with smells you've come to know
you pass by a church spreading disease with a readerboard.
you see a message you think you agree with:
"what god doesn't provide we can make for ourselves with pride"
we can make anything
the inherent responsibility has never been obscure to me: self determined and scary.
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8. |
also uninteresting
03:33
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kidding myself
notebook title line reads:
"now i am older"
its a thing that's not untrue
also uninteresting
playing pretend
is being buried alive
in an unspoken metaphor
clawing at fill dirt
in the open air
evil dead fingers are reaching
for a coda or something different
every picture in the home now
is slanting at an angle that speaks to
something bigger
foundation unseen sinking
with walls all creaking and torqued
a family of dust motes just sitting
down to dinner.
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